Here I am waiting for my teenage son to get up so I can take him to work and then go to bed myself. Up all night with my old people patients. Gosh sometimes they are such a handful. Some are like children being little scamps in the night. Trying to get out of bed, because they remember the days that they could. Now the must depend on others to help them. Some are like little stealth ninjas warming them.
Then their are the patients that are like our grandparents. Ready to scold you when you are not on time to help them. They have all their little brain cells together but their poor little body have given out on them. Makes them a little cranky those independent souls. Wanting the respect of being old and enjoying themselves but they are now bed bound. Their lives cut short due some health reason.
The patients that can focus in short spurts of reality. They recognize you as the one taking care of them but doesn't take much for them to lose sight of reality. Too remind them that they are not alone and all is right with the world around them. They then settle in the between the good old days and today. Looking at you with those trusting eyes that you are the steady one in their lives to take care of them and answer what questions that need to be done. To take them to the bathroom and make sure they eat their meals.
Then the patients that are not quite sick but not well enough to take care of themselves yet. Wondering why when I was younger I bounced back so quickly and now what is wrong with me. How am I going to pay for this and pay rent at the same time. Giving the answer give it time just doesn't quite fix it and ease their minds that all is well with them.
Then the patients that when you left for your two days off. You find that they are on death door, waiting for it to open. They squeeze your hand because they hear your words but are unable to open their eyes to see into yours. You whisper in their ear that they are not alone and they may go in peace. That there are plenty of people wishing nothing but good for you. The family it depending on you to make sure their last days on earth a peaceful and painless. I look up in the sky and pray that god gives me the strength to help his angel to come to him. To hold his hand in mind and squeeze his hand as he walks to the other size. To said good bye is the hardest thing to them. They were there such a short time to make you laugh, frustrate you for their safety. To learn of their youth and their greatest love. To listen of stories of their children and life in general. Then it time. Some goodbyes are hard to do but at last there is peace at last with the last grasp of breath and you see smile on their face as they go.
My job is more demanding than I thought it would be. Between the emotions of trying to please the healthy ones and fix the broken souls. There are night that it's hard to put on that happy face. But the greatest reward that I get on a regular bases is that smile of recognition that I am doing everything right. That scared rabbit is not so scared anymore when they see me walk into the room and let them know that all is well during the night.
If I can coach them into telling me what they did in their lifetime. What is was like way back when. I find each and everyone of them were sweet kind people. With lives outside of my little nursing facility. Each one had families and friends. When I have to say goodbye it is good graces with each one. They ones that make it back home with families and friends. I am please to say goodbye. For the ones that it is their time I hope that I have made them to cross to the other side as equally rewarding.
I ask myself would I do it again. Hmmm, Yes I would. I am needed where others are unable to been there for them. Plus I hope all that I do now I hope there is a kind person to take the time and patience's with me. To help me. To make my life as an old person peaceful. I just wish I would have started so much younger. But I guess it better than not at all.
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2 comments:
Oh my. This is a very fresh and emotional topic for me. I take it you work in a nursing home. If not, it does apply to all caring health care professionals, from my view.
I had to put my mother in a nursing home some time back. She had a form of dementia that was worse than Alzheimer’s. (Lewy Body Dementia). All the responsibility of the whole situation fell to me. I had to do what was best for everyone concerned. It was not an easy task.
It was so hard for me to go there. Not just because of my mom, I just don’t do well in that environment. Hell I’d almost pass out when the kids got their shots.
The point to my comment. The staff there were so nice and professional. They cared for my mother very well. Called when there were problems, called when it was time to bring in hospice (another great organization). In tears when mom passed earlier this year.
In my book you are GREATLY appreciated. I am sure you will have a sainted position in heaven.
Thank you!
I am sorry for your lost. I have just started working in this field of nursing. It has it's up's and down's. I have learned so much in the last eight months that it has been well worth the experiences.
I happen to be one of those people that loves to nurture and it goes from the residents to the family members themselves. It is a hard decisions that people have to make when it comes to their parents. When the options are limited in what one can do for them.
I happen to work in a very nice facility. But I have done clinically's that were not so nice. It sounds like you were lucky to be able to have such a place.
Keep your comment's coming. I love the input. I look forward to them.
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